“Men no longer have clear-cut cues on how to treat a woman, and the mixed messages they get from the media and women themselves can often leave them questioning what to do …” says Andrew Irwin-Smiler, an assistant professor of psychology at Wake Forest University.*
This is especially true in the new and uncharted territory of online dating. Cyber love is fresh to most men, and the do’s and don’ts of the e-love process can be very confusing. Lest our fellow dudes continue to make embarrassing blunders and then angrily pull down their profiles from online dating sites, murmuring angrily that it doesn’t work, here are a few tips to help you make the right e-connection.
Online Dating Tip 1:
Get a life. The best thing you can ever do for yourself is to build an amazing life – for more on how to attract your dream woman by being a dream man, read our post on what it takes, right HERE.
Online Dating Tip 2:
Your profile pic says a million words about you. Dudes, seriously – sweaty, shirtless, hugging a can of beer in one paw and a cig in the other does not a great online dating pic make!! Clean-shaven, nice shirt and a casual relaxed smile is a brilliant start. And avoid the shirtless, muscle show-off look because it’s not all you’ve got to offer. At least let her dream about your bod and eventually discover your pecs in private.
Online Dating Tip 3:
The best profiles are funny, honest and real. Don’t label yourself ‘VERYFITANDSUCCESSFUL’ or ‘SXYHOTTIE’. That’s overkill. How about your just your first name or nickname? Simple is as simple does, and women prefer humble men any day to men they suspect are overly boosting themselves to get across the line.
Online Dating Tip 4:
Don’t doctor your CV. She’ll soon smell that very stinky rat. Be real. If you’re 5’5 in height, don’t advertise yourself as having a half inch more then fudge an explanation later on when she meets you and stares down at your cranium in her heels. One story we heard is of a dude who turned out to be rather vertically challenged (had advertised himself as 5’11) and then thought the lady would buy his explanation that we (all) shrink as we grow older and that he’d been much taller when he joined the site. Dude! An inch lost every six months?
Online Dating Tip 5:
Remember that the people you encounter online are just that … people, not headless chooks. So be kind with your words and show respect for yourself and them in all your communication. And if someone offends you online, either quietly delete their message and keep walking, or tell them firmly that they are out of line. Most decent, sane people will respect your boundaries.
Online Dating Tip 6:
Youspeakaenglish? No matter what language you’re communicating in, please be clear, concise and spell correctly. If you’re serious about finding your ladylove online, treat the process like you would a job interview. Always put forward the best IN YOU.
Online Dating Tip 7:
If you message a lady and she doesn’t respond, take it like a man and move on. Unless you’re a desperate stalker, of course.
Online Dating Tip 8:
If she gives you her number, text or message her first with a ‘Hi, when’s a good time to call?’ first – and don’t call her right there & then after you open her email/message with her number i.e. 1am!
Online Dating Tip 9:
Call when you say you’ll call. Following through with what you’ve promised to do says a lot about your character. Overcome your fear of rejection. If you’ve followed the steps above you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find a lot more women will be open to your attention.
Online Dating Tip 10:
Don’t take it all too seriously. A woman can tell when you’re getting desperate – it’ll ooze out in the endless messages you’ll send her pleading to call you back and the “Can I see you right now? I’ve-got-no-life” pitiful petitions.
Online Dating Tip 11:
Less is more upfront. Don’t expect explosions on date 1. Give yourself at least 2-3 dates before chemistry kicks in (or out).
Online Dating Tip No 12:
If you’ve dated the girl for more than twice and decide not to continue, please let her know. Be a gentleman. Don’t keep her guessing.
In all, online dating is like anything in life:
- You have to keep working at it until you get what you’re after. Marriage or finding a life partner is probably one of the most important decisions you’re going to make in life so why rush the process or skip the important steps.
- The best things in life are free – i.e. paying hefty fees for love is sacrilegious, so avoid those sites that are too hard to navigate and charge you hefty fees for the privilege of your taking their 1001 steps to contacting someone.
- A great person is worth the wait. Try online dating for at least six months before throwing in the towel. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you do eventually find your dream girl. So be patient.
- Don’t give up on love and turn to meaningless, soul-destroying sexual encounters. Remember that you are (if you’ve worked on yourself) an amazing dude who deserves to live the fullest life possible and that includes being in a wonderful, rich and fulfilling relationship.
- And finally, get rid of baggage and always look & feel your best. It adds confidence and swagger. Good luck dudes! We believe in you!