The Action Movie of Action Movies! Expendables!

Cool, calm & not scared to show up their skin wrinkles on hi def. Stallone. Statham. Rourke. The Governator. Li. Willis. Crews. Couture. Lundgren. And the proverbial chic … Giselle Itie … ALL IN ONE MOVIE?

Coming near you in August this year is the latest (US Summer) blockfillibuster Man-On-a-Mission, hard—hitting action/thriller about a group of mercenaries hired to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator.

Ah, we’re back to the 80s merc-action genre! It’s been missing way too long, tramped by the fascination with the Middle East themes of … you know what …

The synopsis is a work of ACTION MAN art – (please pretty please, affect the deep, sonorous voiceover voice guy as you read this):

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) is a man with nothing to lose. (DRAMATIC PAUSE)

He is the leader, the sage and the strategist of this tight—knit band of men who live on the fringe. (LONGER DRAMATIC PAUSE WITH DEEPER DOWNTURN AT THE END)

Led by the indomitable Stallone, (INCREASE TEMPO) this ACTION MAN cast to beat all other ACTION MAN casts find themselves caught in a dangerous web of deceit and betrayal. With their mission thwarted and an innocent life in danger, the men struggle with an even tougher challenge – one that threatens to destroy this band of brothers. (FINISH WITH DISTRESSED URGENCY!)

(OK. NOW KILL THE VOICE).

The synopsis offers more morsels: Stallone’s or rather Barney’s sidekicks are his seaplane (huh??) and his team of loyal modern—day warriors – Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), former SAS and a savant with anything that has a blade; Yin Yang (Jet Li), a master at close—quarter combat; Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) —barrel weapons specialist; Toll Road (Randy Couture), a skilled demolitions expert and considered the intellect of the group; and Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), a combat veteran and an expert in precision sniping who struggles with his own demons. Oooh, I see an Oscar looming … NOT! But it should be great Friday night viewing, fo’ sho’. (MIA – Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan and Jean-Claude Van Damme??)

The plot revolves around a mysterious job offer, an even more mysterious stunning chic and a mercenary attack on a South American blip on on the map, which turns out to be nothing as it was first advertised.

I haven’t seen anything but the trailer and I do love a great action thriller movie so I’ll give it a watch (on bigscreen of course) if only to see my fav warrior dudes battle it out … against each other’s perfomances. I’m rooting for Statham and Rourke to take the cake (and destroy it to smithereens!)

Let’s hope the action and storyline have not been sidelined by all these ACTION MEN jostling for screen significance, and that the THRILL IN THE ACTION is as advertised! TRAILER BELOW!!