There was a period, around the time of Ridley Scott’s Gladiator, when, surprisingly, women swooned for big bearded brutish men, like Russell Crowe.
Crowe had “it”, – but then he started throwing mobile phones at people and generally acting a little ape like. More recently, women were more inclined to dream wistfully of impeccably groomed and debonair Mad Men advertising executive Don Draper (John Ham) – but then he cheated on his wife, innocent and stunning stay-at-home mum Betty (January Jones). So who are us men meant to be like?
The modern man is expected to be superman – by day he works at a well-paid respectable corporate city job (most probably long hours), during his time outside work (likely lunchtime or before work) he is training to maintain his optimum physique, and by night he is whipping up masterful meals or entertaining friends at a newly opened restaurant.
This newly minted superman is intelligent, stylish, sensitive, witty and cultured – he is a true all-rounder. He knows all the great 3rd floor laneway boutiques to purchase slim tailored shirts. He knows the barbers that will trim his meticulously quaffed hair that take mid-week walk-in’s, and he knows the name of his barista at his local cafe. But perhaps, most importantly, he knows which single malt whiskey will calm his nerves at the end of a tough day.
At some point, women became picky and thought, “I love Colin Farrell, but I’m sick of baked beans on toast” or “He’s a great guy, loves shopping, has impeccable eyebrows, but I caught him borrowing my hair straightener and when the bathroom light blew out, he couldn’t change a light globe.”
With Masterchef showcasing that men can in fact cook (well), with Farmer wants a Wife showcasing traditional values and with the Bachelorette showcasing tuxedoed men with ripped abs, men have to be all things to everyone – we are an evolving species. But the one character they unanimously don’t want is the metrosexual, who is certainly a dying breed – in Darwin’s rat-race of survival, the metrosexual was doomed from the get-go, and although he has positively influenced the pack, he was well and truly the first to be devoured by the rest of the wolves.
Beware, the hipster is surely in the cross-hairs too. In the words of one very special woman, when asked the eternal question for what women want in a man, she surmised “Whatever he is, he should still very much be a man, and not someone who is riddled with self-doubt”.
Written by our new funky contributor: BIG RED!