This post is encouraged from a #tweet that we received asking about the best attire to wear during a virtual date. So, as we’ve already spoken on fashion in the virtual world of ‘Second Life’ (click here), we thought we’d discuss what to wear on a virtual date and what it means to the other person down the optic fibre.
I’m not surprised to hear that Britain has the highest internet dating turnover of any European nation. More than nine million Britons have logged on to a dating site. Ten years ago, people would rather hang over a crocodile pit than admit they met online. But today the climate is much less censorious.
Dating has changed exponentially. It had to. Not only does the UK have a high concentration of single people, many of us work in virtually single-sex environments. Couple friends are too shattered to have dinner parties. We lack the village hall, the barn dance. Like our New York cousins, we are embracing different ways to meet. A third of all new relationships start online. It’s our best matchmaker.
Yet, the risk of intimacy in the modern world is great fellas. There is no denying that. Many an expert talk about it, and for most of us it is a foreign language. We’re afraid to show ourselves. We’ve been taught not to cry, not to feel, to not give in, to not show public displays of affection. But Gents, if one wants to find the ‘girl’, you know the one – you’ve dreamed about her, perhaps even seen her, but you’ve let her go…you need to step up on every level, and that includes the intimacy level.
Women like to be seduced, cherished and told that they’re lovely, rather than deal with exhausted ‘starfish’ sex at the end of a long week. So in the event of a successful virtual date which turns into marriage, don’t ever think that this will change – it’s how they’re made up – you know, their DNA. Do Not Alter.
The biggest message we feel here is not only what you’re wearing, but what you’re willing to show from the inside. To connect with another human being, vulnerability is key at certain stages of each meet. Virtual dating is perhaps exactly the same as a blind date, but with more pressure. You know you’re meeting this woman for a specific reason. You’re not paying a relationship expert, or dating agency to make friends, although it’s nice to make friends, right? But, you’ve probably got plenty of female friends anyway.
Talking from real life experiences MenStylePower believer there are a few rules to abide by when it comes to the online virtual dating scene.
- Be yourself.
- Make an effort in conversation and appearance.
- She’s checking you out from the moment that screen comes live, so omit the right physical signals.
- A smile is your best accessory.
- Ask questions.
- Give all your attention to that moment.
DRESS UP, BOTTOMS TOO.
Yes, dress up as if you were going on a date. She is looking at everything. Although you’re framed in a silver screen and unattainable, your personality and style should always shine through. Don’t think, like a newsreader you can discard your care below the belt – no Gents, she’ll say something that gets you to move your laptop, or yourself for a brief moment and trust me you don’t want to get caught with your…ahem, pants down. She will be looking for consistency. This is one area that women judge you on. So how you present yourself to her, respectably of course, is going to be scored. Think relaxed or slim fitting long sleeve shirt, collar button, and top button open. Wear a comfortable pair of jeans – as if you were dressing smart casual and do this for the first 3 virtual dates. When you’re ready to meet her, wear the same style of attire. This shows her that you can translate from silver screen to real life.
Yes, each time you connect online, dress up and sit up. She’s not interested, if she’s the relationship type that is, to see you in the side-horizontal position lazin’ like a big lion charming his pride. You posture speaks a thousand words. It’s signalling how fit you are. If you’re slouching, this shows your core isn’t strong. She’ll be imagining how many abs you’ve got under that shirt. Women scan a man for some key attributes, one of which is strength. Physical strength, mental strength and emotional strength are three of the most attractive qualities of a man. Now don’t despair if you’re a small framed Gent, your intelligence needs to shine through here.
DO YOUR HAIR
Guys, please don’t do the JBF look unless your Robert Pattinson. And that hair is actually professionally styled. Make sure you’re looking presentable and the hair is lookin’ dapper. You don’t need to smell nice, but looking effortlessly cool is essential. If you feel you need to get a new hair style, then do it. Intuition is everything.
GIVE HER YOUR ATTENTION
Do not, at any stage, talk to her and have your favorite footy team’s web page in the background. She’ll be looking at your eyes, your attention span and assessing if she holds your attention. If not, guess what. Before you go any further, you need to ask yourself why you need the extra distraction. Is it just a habit of yours? Does she not engage you? Or, are you bored.
Have some water near by so if you’ve the first time chat nerves, you don’t jitter away with a dry mouth.
PUT ON YOUR JIM CAREY
Yep, it’s essential to have a laugh. See if she “gets you”. Having a partner that easily gets you is key to a long lasting relationship.
This is such a misunderstood word. Most Gents think it’s about getting close physically, but it mostly about getting close mentally and emotionally. “Connection is why we’re here,” says researcher Brené Brown. “It’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”
In this enlightening and entertaining TED Talk Brown pinpoints the one quality that people with a strong sense of love and belonging share: they’re able to embrace their own vulnerability.
“…They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn’t talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating… They just talked about it being necessary.”
Now here are some other posts we’ve written showcasing what it’s like to dress from the inside out.
16 Things you should be telling your girl <http://www.menstylepower.com/wp-admin/www.menstylepower.com/2013/12/16-things-you-should-be-telling-your-girl/>
Becoming a real bad boy <http://www.menstylepower.com/wp-admin/www.menstylepower.com/2013/05/becoming-a-real-bad-boy/>
Warrior mark thyself <http://www.menstylepower.com/wp-admin/www.menstylepower.com/2013/05/warrior-mark-thyself/>
The ugly lure of porn <http://www.menstylepower.com/wp-admin/www.menstylepower.com/2013/02/the-lure-of-porn/>
First impressions count <http://www.menstylepower.com/wp-admin/www.menstylepower.com/2013/01/first-impressions/>
What women hate about your wardrobe <http://www.menstylepower.com/wp-admin/www.menstylepower.com/2012/11/what-women-hate-about-your-wardrobe/>