The Bald and the Beautiful

Bald is bold. Bald is BAAAAD. Boys, bald is back.

While you shudder in the bathroom at your tresses clogging up the sink, when you whimper at the sight of your mane clinging to your girl’s nails when she drags them through your scalp, when you begin wearing caps and fedoras at jaunty angles to hide the growing empty real estate on your noggin’ please try and remember … if Travolta can rock it, so can you.

(FYI – Travolta has recently re-jigged his look to a cool, velvety, hairless panache that translates enormously well in his new role in the blockbuster movie  ‘From Paris with Love’.)

Bald is fierce. And women love fierce-bald, infact I know of many who drool at it.  Little babies too, as they rub their pudgy fingers across smooth baaaaaald plains of their dada’s cranium.

There’s something primal about the expertly sanctioned levels of testosterone that are said to charge through the male body, pumping so hard that they force the little hair follicles right out of their sockets. It’s primordial, it’s savage and it’s very attractive … to girls who see very bald man (with exception of a few) as the species’ highly endorsed candidates for passing on their strong, best survivor-on-an-island genes to the next generation.

Let me outline the baldy benefits for those who are still questioning the style: (courtesy of blisstree.com):

Mega savings – dudes with long luscious locks have to spend their time and cash maintaining that ‘do’. Being bald is a budget friendly investment in your future.

Evolution - Bald Men are the future; the hairy are a dying breed. Hair is vestigial structure lingering from the old days when we didn’t know how to wear layers, heat our homes and stay indoors during blizzards. Bald Men are more advanced, whereas hairy men are more monkey-like.

Simplicity - Bald Men enjoy simpler lives. Less product crowding up the shelf in the shower. Less effort coordinating schedules around salon appointments. Less time spent getting ready to leave the house.  More time being a ‘real man’.

Confidence – A Bald Man is a confident man. A baldy doesn’t need to stroke their ego by brushing their hair.

Lady-love - For a girl who loves to talk, there’s no better bliss than a bald-man-listening. Baldies seem more adept at showing empathy than those guys who have hair stuck in their ears. Baldies have a better chance in scoring points with the ladies.

So for the gents who begin balding early (25% by age 30), please rock bald with bravado for life. For the 50% who get hit by hair loss by the big 5.0, shave off those last straggly locks and go all-bald and beautiful – and watch how much how your wife and/or partner warms up to you when you do. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

Be you. Be baaaaaad. Be bald!!

The Westwood Homeless

Right so this must be the new way designers are showing off their ranges, because if you put all this stuff together for your daily outfit, you’d be looked upon as some homeless duff. Right? So, in viewing these pictures, you can see that the consumer would more than likely say, “Ok, I love the belt on that look, and maybe the shoes on this look” but all in all, is it a piece-meal collection or one peppered with utter genius?

“Last night the press release for Westwood’s menswear collection, for Milan Fashion Week, declared: “Perhaps the oddest of heroes to emerge this season, Vivienne Westwood found inspiration in the roving vagrant whose daily get-up is a battle gear for the harsh weather conditions . . . Quilted bombers and snug hoodies also work well in keeping the vagrant warm.” Yes. The homeless.

Of course, in the candy-colored world of Vivienne Westwood, homeless people are all young with great bodies, high cheekbones and flawless skin, and they all have super-styled hair and brightlycolored clothes. And sometimes they’ll walk around in big goofy hats or even teddy bear heads!

Darlings, you just can’t write about it! Well….I just did.

SO – we all know that inspiration comes to artists in various forms, but for a high level designer such as Vivienne Westwood to be inspired by the homeless means there has been a scary increase in percentage of these forgotten people. So if that is the case, and she is riding the dusty coattails of these people; then every piece sold from the collection, should have a percentage donated to the homeless. Our belief is if the influential are going to take something from the homeless who have nothing, then something should be given back. Agree?

Vampires and their Hair

Quite unknown and obviously youthful, Kristen and Robert have exposed their real-life relationship which obviously has developed from their silver screen tension. Clearly Robert Pattinson is the heart-throb of nearly every teenage girl on the planet. And included in this group are Gen X and Baby-boomers who are happy to reminisce on such days when innocence of a first love flourished. Robbie has by-passed the Hollywood code of conduct and rule book, to draw in his co-star with chivalry, gentlemanship and respect. Wow – those are words not used nearly enough in the media these days, but the question remains…are they here to stay or are we going to have another Rihanna and Chris Brown saga?

Pattinson is to me, very uncomfortable in real life. He’s shy, awkward and with his angular face washed of the Vampire makeup of the alluring character Edward Cullen, the dangerous predator disappears and the true person remains. Feeling comfortable in your own skin must be one of the most difficult life lessons, and yet many of us blokes don’t get it until we’re starting to get that salt and pepper look on top and we give in. Oh well, youth has eluded me so I may as well just accept my look. Yes! Do that! But do it now.

The Vamprish style has always been controlled by black. Black isn’t a colour, it’s a shade. So it will sit well on anyone. Because the pupils of our eyes are complimented and the composition of this shade brings focus to the face. The timeless look of this style is in the fusion of loose fitting jeans, ties, vests and tailored jackets. Absolutely no jewellery. The best palette is charcoal, grey, deep blue, black, metallic and white. And as for the hair – that ‘just got out of bed’ look is the go.

Oscar G doesn’t wear skinny jeans. Oscar G is a real man.

Woopsie!

Oscar G doesn’t wear skinny jeans. Oscar G is a real man.

When Oscar G (a friend of the StyleMeister) posted the following status on Facebook today “ I don’t wear skinny jeans’” he didn’t expect the mad rush of responses. In just an hour, the man had 45 comments of all them giving the man a big nod.

It seems that although we argue endlessly about the ethics of nuclear war, squabble about who killed Michael Jackson and trade blows on Iraq, there’s one thing we all (all?) unanimously agree on – tight, bum squeeze denim is a definite no-no!

See, the bum squeezer only looks great on anorexic female models and some normal chics. The minute real men try and floss in tight jeans they look like human popsicles – their guts and nether parts are suddenly thrown into relief and wait for it … we all begin to question just how comfortable they are with themselves, (and their sexuality) if they’re constantly mincing around in skeletal jeans and tight trousers.

When you’re trying too hard to fit it all in, it doesn’t work and it shows!

So unless you’re a ditsy Zac Efron, The Jonas Bros, an alien from outer space, Robin Hood or an all American baseball player whose being paid millions to wear them, puhleeeesssse avoid the bum squeezer!

Skinny jeans don’t live here gents because Style 101 for Men is for real men … not posers!

Federer – forget the bling and focus on the swing!

The Fed-Express in Gold Trimmed Insulation

Blatantly swiped from Alan Attwood, SMH, July 8, 2009

Why on earth does The Fed want to be a male model?

When he accepted his latest prize on Sunday (Wimbledon 09 … for those scratching heir heads) the gold of the Wimbledon trophy teamed beautifully with the gold trim on his custom-made cream-coloured jacket, which made him look like an extra from the Sergeant Pepper’s album cover. Or a hospital orderly.

On the shirt collar, subtle but still noticeable, was an “F”. Rod Laver, who witnessed the final from the royal box, has recommended that tennis fans watch Federer’s feet to appreciate his grace. Those who do will notice the monograms on Federer’s footwear.

But wait, there’s more: a cap with a monogram, regularly sighted at media conferences lest reporters need reminding of his name. Also a jacket emblazoned with a “15″, the number of major titles he has now won – more than any other male player. More than Laver; more than Bjorn Borg; more than Pete Sampras, whose record he surpassed on Sunday. All three of those former champs posed with Federer after the final, resulting in a photo that reminded us how much Borg now resembles a suntanned Gerard Depardieu.

Laver, Borg and Sampras were never into bespoke jackets – let alone having one run up before winning a title, which smacks of hubris. But all in that illustrious three were trendsetters in their own way. Borg was a boon to headband makers. Sampras pioneered daggy, baggy shorts, which men sniggered at until they realised how comfortable they were. And Laver was a fan of cabbage leaves under a floppy hat to keep him cool under the fierce Queensland sun.

While Federer’s fashionable side seems naff, he has shown a little more style than his valiant opponent, Andy Roddick of the United States, who wore his cap back-to-front for the trophy presentation after having it the right way round during the match. And the Swiss champ is good taste personified compared with Serena Williams, who confronted reporters after the women’s final in a T-shirt with the slogan: “Are You Looking At My Titles?”

Awesome! (Not!)